


Midding

by Player_1



Series: Diagnosis of The Heart [5]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Blood and Injury, Breaking a Mirror, Existentialism, Game: Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, Gen, Implied Invisibility, KH Union X speculations/spoilers, Mentioned Memory Loss, Mentions of Character Death, Other, Strelitzia is the Specter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-12 19:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20569805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Player_1/pseuds/Player_1
Summary: v. Feeling the tranquil pleasure of being near a gathering but not quite in it—feeling blissfully invisible yet still fully included, safe in the knowledge that everyone is together and everyone is okay, with all the thrill of being there without the burden of having to be.We're all the same in the end, no matter how we look...So why can't youhear me?





	Midding

It's been hard to remember when I came into this "existence", if I can even call it such. My heart was crying for something, a guiding light that escaped my grasp from what felt like an eternity...And just like that, the familiar shade of pink bled in this room of suffocating white.

Nobodies, empty shells of what we once were.  
For all I know, we're not in Daybreak Town anymore. The Worlds outside this castle may have changed us, changed the kind glimmer in my brother's eyes, but fate has brought us together again.   
No matter what comes to us, we'll do it together. 

~~ 

For the first week or so, I clung to Lauriam's shadow, my footsteps as ghastly as the white walls that surrounded us. Of course, there was nothing to say, the world could absorb sound except our beating hearts; kept safe inside our very own cages.  
We were phantoms in the night, only wandering with nothing in mind...All until <strike>Larxene</strike> Elrena appeared. He drifted away, hushed whispers about a private revolution, almost unaware of my presence ghosting his own. 

~~ 

Thirteen "Nobodies", well, including myself. Each one with their own looks, style, personality, all hiding the light inside dim and forlorn eyes.   
Lauriam tending a miniature garden, Elrena playing with her knives somewhere (_but where's her Keyblade?), _Luxord dealing a solitary game, and Demyx strumming his sitar.  
_(They feel...familiar...)_  
  
The scientist Vexen, though he looks more like a mad scientist, hanging around Zexion, Xaldin, Lexaeus, and Xigbar. Axel and Saix battling their presence with loose glares and dim notions; and finally Xemnas, the man who's only rose-colored thorns.

It's strange...Out of everyone in this castle, he seems to be the only one that makes me shiver to the core.   
While Lauriam remains oblivious of me, the Lord stares to me with a knowing smile, looking right through me as if I'm just a-

~~

No matter what I do, it's almost like I'm not even around.  
It was a simple poker match between Luxord and my brother, odds stacked against each other as they wait for someone to make a move. Lauriam had the chance to overturn the Gambler's luck, I honestly thought that was the case...But the second my hand grazed his glove, he flinched away like he touched a hot stove.   
All that hard-earned Munny went right down the drain...

And there was no worth mentioning the "ghost" incident.  
I just wanted to listen to Demyx play...But instead of him complaining about the heat, "it felt like a grave in there"...  
I just don't understand...Is something wrong with me?

~~

'What seems to be the matter?' A tiny, submissive voice piped up, almost squeezed out of its chest by the constricting jumpsuit. 

Dusks, one of the many Lesser Nobodies I have come to learn, a simple servant...Oh well, as long as I have the company.

"Don't you ever get the feeling that no one sees you, like you don't even exist?"  
'As long as a Master calls, I tend to their commands, so I don't know this loneliness.' Its bound gaze tilted to the floor, seemingly contemplative.  
"That's not the point...No one notices me, not even my brother."  
'If he wishes to see you, you may appear...Do you not believe you are connected?'   
"That's a dumb thing to say." I almost chuckled, "I've known him my entire life, it's not like he's going to forget me."

_'Please Stre, I'm asking you nicely...Join the Dandelions with me.'_  
_'Why would I want that? I have friends, I don't want to abandon them...'_  
_'-But I don't want to leave _you behind. _You have to believe me...Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it. I just want to know that you're safe...' _

My heart lurched uncomfortably in my chest, almost blending the grays in my eyes.  
Lauriam couldn't just forget me, right? 

~~ 

Every time I looked in the mirror, it was the same me, but different.

My hair was starting to fade, sunset-red to a tamer salmon-pink.  
Circles under my eyes from countless nights escaping me (_How in the Worlds am I supposed to sleep in a room so bright?)._  
The constant light seems to suck all life from my skin, leaving me like fragile porcelain.  
But it's still strange...Days have already passed, and I'm almost unrecognizable.

Will Lauriam even know who I am?  
He _should_...After all, I'm not that dumb to wear black. It will just feel...depressing.

One day, he'll notice...He _has_ to know...

~~

With the room blinding me in every inch of my mind, there was a crash, letting bits and pieces of starlight sprinkle onto the floor.

It was the day Roxas joined the Organization, the _true_ number XIII, the one who holds the Keyblade.  
It's just a joke, I know it...They have a Keyblade wielder right here, right?  
Don't they even know I exist...?

I'm real...I'm alive, right...? 

_In the shadows of the warehouse, the invisible blade seared my flesh, the floor slowly pooling in crimson._

I'm real!  
I can feel my heartbeat, hammering in my chest at every passing second.   
I wouldn't have a heart if I wasn't d-

_I wanted to see that smile again._  
_We may not have known each other, but I wanted your happiness to be for me...  
_ _Just say my name, just this once..._

_'I'm sorry Stre____...I couldn't protect you...'_

My fists met the glass-infected chamber, wringing another scream out of my throat as the shards blend with this ruby-red.   
I'm sorry Lauriam...I wasn't strong enough...

_I just wanted to see you...One more time..._

"-What's going on here?" His voice rattled through my brain, barely catching the kind-hearted Dusk sweeping up the remains, vanishing in a similar flurry of stardust.

_Is this...Is this it?  
_ _Is this my chance?_

Despite the protests in my heart, I shakily composed myself, staring to my own brother, flesh and blood, him and him alone...

"...Can you-...Can you see me?" My own voice was shaking like a leaf, becoming the harsh autumn breeze; "Lauriam...Tell me something, please?"  
He flinched once again, a flurry of terrifying emotions dancing in his eyes.

_Please don't...Don't tell me...I'm not-_  
"How do you know that name?"   
And in those eyes, the ones that loved me with everything in his heart, I saw my own begin to shatter.

~~

I remember wondering if the walls were thin enough to hear on the other side, wondering of all the stories they could tell to help me pass the time.  
If they heard me scream, a banshee who wandered from her guiding light, I wonder what they would say...

~~

"Why did you come back?" <strike>Lauriam</strike> Marluxia muttered, the glimmering twilight hiding my river of tears.  
"You called to me...I was all alone, and you answered me..."

_Lauriam, please...Come back to me..._

"...Do you like flowers?"

In those dead, emotionless eyes, there was a single spark...  
"Of course."

_This time, it's my turn to protect you..._


End file.
